You can only hurt the one you love because you are expecting positive feedback from the one you love. And when that turns negative, it’s a blow. It’s a blow to the solar plexus. Right? So you can only hurt the one you can love but the one who always loves you sometimes has trouble showing you that they love you. The one who didn’t really love you that much but then starts to show you that they love you, that person is a powerful influence on your behavior.
from Dean Peter Salovey’s “Introduction to Psychology: Lecture 9 Transcript” at Yale